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Modern 'grrls' Pursue Etiquette
By
Jessie Milligan
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Pearls,
basic black dresses, a shade of lipstick called Manic
Depressive, what else would you expect from young women
whose book on modern etiquette includes a chapter titled
"How, Where, When to Pass Out, and What You Should
Wear." These are the Etiquette Grrls, two friends
of impeccable breeding who found literary success by
writing "Things You Need to Be Told, A Handbook
for Polite Behavior in a Tacky, Rude World!" Their
Miss Manners-meets-MTV style is shot straight at the
heart of the twenty something generation.
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The
grrls, Lesley Carlin, 28, and Honore McDonough Ervin, 26,
are, their publisher says, "graduates of New England
preparatory schools and prestigious colleges; they are throwers
of great parties; they can hold their liquor; their expertise
on fashion and makeup, especially subversive nail polish colors,
knows no bounds; they wear Doc Martens with their cashmere
twin sets and, most importantly, they know what they are talking
about." Proper decorum calls for us to introduce you
to the grrls. Carlin is a Boston Web site producer who just
got engaged. Ervin, single, is a graduate student studying
nonfiction writing in Pittsburgh.
The two met in middle school in Springfield, Mass., and remained
friends. Their letters and e-mails to one another were notable
for their frequent midsentence capitalization, a quirky and
funny way of adding attitude to their refined accounts of
daily life. The two got together one day and, for laughs,
read aloud from an etiquette book published in 1941. They
found it the funniest book they'd ever read. "We thought
that people today could use something like that," Carlin
says. They launched a Web site, www.EtiquetteGrrls.com, in
1999, and it proved popular enough that the two wrote a proposal
for a book. "We wanted to write an etiquette book that
wasn't your grandmother's etiquette book," Carlin says.
"We used 'grrls' in the title to emphasize that we are
young. We are really very traditional girls. Something we
are militant about is etiquette." The rules for manners
haven't changed much over the years, they say. But social
situations have.
Women today must consider how to choose e-mail addresses that
reflect the many facets of their personalities while retaining
dignity. "User names containing any of the following
words should be Avoided At All Costs: Bunny, Unicorn, Rainbow
or Kitty," the grrls write. After all, someday you may
wish to use your e-mail address on your resume. The grrls
go so far as to offer advice on what to wear while working
online. "You should treat the composition of e-mail much
as you would a Real, Live Conversation, and you should remember
that Appearance Always counts. We tell you this now because
the Etiquette Grrls understand that in A Few Short Years everyone
will have video e-mail. "Thusly, it is best that you
attempt to break the habit of Dressing Sloppily while at the
computer right now, Dear Reader. Your Technological Wardrobe
ought to be appropriately Sleek and Modernistic, with perhaps
a bit of a Cyberspacy look to it. This is not to say that
Tout le Monde should run out and buy skin-tight, hologrammy
hooded cat suits, as ever, Know Your Limits. Clothes in shades
of black, grey, and white (for summer) are always Quite Nice,
and any jewelry you wear ought to be Silver or Platinum, of
course. (Gold is very un-modern.)" Their book goes on
to describe proper decorum for traditional situations (dinner
with the boyfriend's parents) and the more modern (what to
wear on casual days).
The grrls have fashion and grooming tips that surpass anything
Grandma would have ever owned up to. "We don't recommend
passing out but if you do anticipate a night of heavy drinking
you should keep your ensemble comfortable, sleek, and as always
and above all, stylish. You're probably going to be in the
same clothes come Noon Tomorrow, so try to wear something
that doesn't wrinkle easily, doesn't pick up lint and will
look appropriate for brunch. We think stretch wool pants or
a skirt with a nice fitted tee (and perhaps a little cardigan
if it's chilly) are always a safe bet." Makeup and hairstyles
should be kept simple, the grrls advise. "Your hair is
not an Art Project. You do not need to have a Wee Army of
barrettes in your hair at any single time, ever." The
grrls say following fashion trends is OK, but just don't overdo
it. "You should only do one wacky thing at a time. This
shows everyone that while you're Hip and Adventurous, you're
not just following all the Magazine Instructions Simultaneously."
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