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Ha
Ha To the Axis of Evil Speech
by
Malik Shahnawaz Khar
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Just
as American terror on Afghanistan seems to be
slowing down, President Bush has once again dipped
his pretzel-enriched vocabulary into another historical
innuendo. To save anyone the embarrassment, who
might have started to suspect that after the war
some gray matter had surreptitiously grown somewhere
right of the Bushes. And why not? Power and money
makes virtue of vice and
Mr. Bush Jr has both. I still remember people
commenting during Junejo’s last days as Prime
Minster, ‘on how good looking he was’.
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I would like to briefly digress
for a few paragraphs and share my own experiences with the Iraqi
people, honored members of the axis of evil. Four years ago
I crossed the Qaser-Shireen border on foot from Iran into Iraq.
One of the most memorable moments in my life was when I stood
in the No-mans land bordering Iran and Iraq waiting for the
revolutionary guards to let me pass. On one side baba Khomeni’s
photograph eyed me angrily and on the other side uncle Saddam
stared back belligerently. And me a desi stuck in the middle,
my heart yearning to strike a John Travolta Saturday Night fever
pose. But I left it for anon, maybe I’ll do it on an official
visit, preferably with BB not NS. Like Oscar Wilde I prefer
the company of,’ women with a past and men with a future’.
Although Saddam’s photographs, paintings and statutes adorning
every conceivable nook and corner in the country did take on
a friendlier disposition as soon as I moved away from the Iranian
border. Compare to Iran where also every nook and corner is
smothered by Khomeni’s photographs, all in the drudgery
of religious garb, Iraq had some variety to offer in that respect.
I think it stems from the socialist principles inherent in the
Baath party, the citizens of Iraq have access to the entire
wardrobe of their leader. Saddam Hussein can be seen posing
in a military uniform, ethnic Arab dress, cowboy boots and hat
outfit, three piece suit white collar look, Hawaiian shirt and
shorts and the famous hat and tommy-gun Chicago mobster look.
Each different dress is accompanied with a different hairstyle,
wet look, combed back, left and right side parting (sun glasses,
without sunglasses, with or without a cigar and the list goes
on).
Iraq is a complete autocracy or a saddamocracy as my two-dollar
a day Iraqi guide, brother Khaled volunteered without being
asked an unveiling example of Saddam’s terror, “even
a husband and wife in bed are afraid to mention Saddam’s
name”. I had a good laugh on Khaled’s example, ‘Now
why would anyone in bed with a woman mention Saddam’s name.
The sound from the word SAD DAMN doesn’t exactly lubricate
the atmosphere’. I guess too much MOJO. In any case I breathed
a sigh of relief after managing a squeeze out of Iran, suffocating
three weeks under the theocratic rump.
On a first glance without any analysis, a simple yardstick I
use to measure the civility of a nation (not government) is
by looking at their women. Women in Iraq appeared to have freedom
to walk, dress, eat, drink, move, work and the calm demeanor
with which both sexes interacted with each other in public places
purported a inherently progressive and civil society.
At night I took a cruise on the river Tigress. Just as our ferry
left the docks, I saw a huge mansion/palace rise into view on
the southwestern banks of the river. I asked my guide, Khaled,
pointing in the direction, inquired as to whose property it
might be. My guide in a near panic rushed forward, held my hand
down and said, “My brother from Bakistan, it is against
the law to point towards Saddam’s palaces”. Even before
I could ruminate on Khaled’s warning someone turned on
the music. Something very strange happened at that moment. |
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Everyone on the
ship, men, women, and children started to dance. Yes I
mean everyone, even the seamy mullahs were wiggling their
beards, the whole ship swayed with the music.
I asked my guide, pleasantly surprised, “ Sheik Sahib
What this? Aay Ki hai?”
My guide replied,”My bakistani brother, music and
dance is part of the Iraqi culture. During the allied
bombing on Iraq, we celebrated our weddings, our dance
parties and ceremonies without looking towards the sky
and went on our daily chores as if nothing was happening.”
“Wow, What a country, what a nation, Sheik Sahib
”, I exclaimed in awe. |
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How could anyone forget the images from
the news clippings, ‘skies over Baghdad’, when
the allied bombing had commenced. The thought still sent
shivers down my spine and would probably pique any anesthetized
conscious except for a few (I hope a few) of the Americans
who sat on their couches, swallowing pizza, guzzling beer
and yelling in revelry, “We got those bastards!”
Khaled was right about the Iraqis love for music and dance
it was only when the ship barked at the docks did everyone
stop dancing.
As I ponder over these distance memories of a brave nation,
a plural society in the safety of my living room sadly
bringing me back to the present state of International
depravity. It seems the Iraqi people will once again have
to bear the brunt of the axis of WTC (White Trash Capitalism).
My fickle mind fails to comprehend the correlation between
World War II axis powers (Japan, Germany, Italy) and the
axis of evil, Iran, Iraq and North |
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Korea.
At a televised meeting on February 18, 1998, Secretaries of
State Albright and Cohen repeatedly said that Saddam’s
worst crime was using weapons of mass destruction against his
own people. I absolutely agree with them. Saddam gassed Kurds
at Halabja in 1988 and United States kept giving aid to Iraq
till 1989 as a favored client state. Unequivocally United States
is the most powerful nation in the world, not only does it have
complete monopoly over inflicting violence but also its monopoly
over hypocrisy is unmatched.
Interestingly the Iraqi democratic opposition has been completely
blacked out. After defeating Iraq, the allied powers looked
the other way when Saddam sent in troops to massacre the pro-democracy
rebels fighting against his regime. At that time the allies
did not consider Saddam to be stepping out of line. Ahmed Chalabi
head of the Iraqi National Congress has on more than one occasion
reiterated his fears that the intention of the United States
is simply to replace Saddam with another suitable dictator,
‘a yes man’. I hope for the sake of the Iraqi people
that Mr. Chalabi is wrong.
There can be little doubt that after September 11th the world
has become an extremely dangerous place. Especially in the arena
of International law, which exists only on paper. Article 51
of the U.N, which permits a defensive war, has no meaning. The
new law is the law of the jungle, weaker nations are expected
to acquiesce to the demands of the powerful. What good are lectures
on humanism and peace for weaker nations who are not in a position
to defend themselves. United States had been shopping for a
protracted enemy for years, ever since the Berlin wall fell.
Luckily they found one, when they saw, ‘Fundamentalism
for Sale’, sign outside an Afghani cave. Presently the
sign has been removed to be replaced by a new sign that reads,
‘Bandits and Heroin for sale’. Policy makers couldn’t
be more jubilant; the enemy is not a country to the long-term
benefit of their defense budgets but goes by a furtive philosophy
with no borders. The threat of this phenomenon is already being
successfully drummed into the American nation out of fear pooping
dollars into the defense budget. ‘Let there be no mistake’,
Iran and Iraq were never a threat to the United States, regionally
they are a threat to themselves more than the security paranoid
state of Israel. The purpose of the Gulf War was to cripple
the Iraqi war machinery, not to liberate Kuwait or punish Saddam.
America has once again decided to prostitute its military might
for Israel (plus oil) and the rest of the world will only be
allowed a peek.
There is not a lot of pun required to comment on the ‘axis
of evil’ belch, intuitively I hope my beating the dhol
with my pen has disturbed the feel good turn a blind eye conscious
of a few.
But before I temporarily halt my debunking for the day, I would
like to do it with words plagiarized from America’s closest
and favorite ally (just to be safe), as I am too weak a man
to dare say anything on my own accord. From the excerpt of Israeli
Prime Minister Sharon’s speech addressed to the American
government right after September 11th, if I may, no offense,
“Go to Hell’. |
Bubble
Breakthrough
The
first clear win for gene therapy, French doctors report
that they have
successfully treated four boys with “bubble boy”
disease, the immune-system disorder
so devastating that its victims spend their lives
confined in germ-free isolation. It was 2.5 years
ago that doctors first repaired the genetic mutation
that kept the children from producing
healthy infection-fighting cells, and today the kids
are still thriving. It was a dramatic
coup for a therapy that has had more than its share
of failures.
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